Begininngs

It's sounds almost cliche, starting a blog on the start of the new year. I guess blogging is the next natural step in the "I want to spend my life writing process." I've always been a writer, but I was never one for stream of consciousness. It feels awkward, almost forced. My roommate writes in a diary every night. I've never had  patience for things like that. I guess I get bored with my words, sentences,  and stories that no one particularly wants to hear on a given day.
 If I have a lot on my mind, I tend to write poetry.  I guess it sounds sort of silly, but banging out a few lines usually reveals the heavy set of emotions that need to come tumbling out once-and-a-while.  Throw me into the middle of a story and I won't know what to do with it. But give me an interesting prompt, and I'll write a poem.
  But, something told me inside that I needed to do this blog. (god, I'm a walking cliche) Step outside my iambic pentameter filled Microsoft word documents and into this new user-friendly text-box, where I don't have to think so hard about how my next line should transition. It sounds so cheesy (and I'm embarrassed to admit it), because perhaps I'm making a bigger deal out of this whole thing than it actually is, but there is a thrill in writing without thinking. A thrill in the idea that someone may actually read this mass of jumbled words, even though I'm just writing for myself.
As a friend once told me "the only restraints you have are the ones you put on yourself." People blog all day and every day, and no one gives two shits about how delicious so-and-so's lunch was, or how wonderful their trip to Paris was, but it gives the writer a sense of satisfaction, a purpose, when they write about these insignificant details of their lives. I guess what it comes down to, is that every one gives a shit about their own shit, and everyone wants to do something useful with the stock of words that have been building in their bursting brains. A commentary on the world, by yours truly. It's self indulgence at full speed.
I don't really know how this works, I don't even know who reads this thing. I feel sort of odd making it public that I have a blog, what would I even say?  "Dear friends and family, read about my life on here. I can't promise you it'll be interesting but maybe you'll be tempted to check it out while you're procrastinating" Who knows, I doubt I'll tell anyone I have a blog at all. It's more for myself , and whoever accidently discovers it, well, I'm sorry if I bore you.
This is an experiment. A learning process of sorts. I need to break out of the melodramatic, ambiguous, writing that has dried my lips and move on to other, more exciting endeavors. Maybe I'll write something real that I can wrap my fingers around and understand at first glance, and not worry about the various ways it can be interpreted by my audience. Perhaps a post as simple as a vivid memory, a sunny afternoon maybe, or a day in the square. After all, writers are only entrepreneurs of thought. And as readers, we jump on the story for the ride.

I don't know how to end this, but I've come to realize nothing ever really ends these days. We end one year only to begin another. I end a blog post with the promise to write again tomorrow, but who knows if I'll ever even come back. I guess that's the magic of it all...